Don't Help Bad Horse!
by John Richards
Summary: A mashup of the endings of Little Shop of Horrors and Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog, with characters from the latter.  Sequel to Everything You Ever, and pretty much the same concept reversed.


"Give my regards to Saint Peter-or whoever has his job, but in hell." Captain Hammer pulled the trigger on the Death Ray, there was a huge explosion, and... well, it would appear that his features were blackened. He didn't seem to be moving. Dr. Horrible let out a tiny evil laugh of relief. This didn't count as murder, since Captain Hammer did it himself by holding the gun backwards, but it did save him from death from his own invention.

The building seemed to be devastated, though. Pieces of shrapnel were everywhere. Dr. Horrible looked around, and eventually discovered, behind some chairs... Penny! A blade from the Death Ray was straight through her chest. "Are you alright?"

She started to say "Yes...", but settled on no instead. "Billy, is that you?"

"Don't die, Penny, please don't die. I need you."

"I saw the strangest thing just now. I saw that you and Dr. Horrible were the same person."

"It's true. I am him. I tried to kill Captain Hammer. It was to get into the Evil League of Evil- I needed to kill someone. I've done terrible things, Penny. But not to you. Never to you."

Penny paused. "But... I want you to."

Billy was baffled. "What?"

"When I die, tell the people that you killed me, so you can get in and get all of the wonderful things you deserve."

"You don't know what you're saying!" Billy had given up on evil. It just made things like this happen.

"But I do. It's the one gift I can give you. And if people remember me as your first victim, then I'll always be part of your story... So in a way, we'll always be together... Here's the story of a girl, who thought things always went right. Thinking that in the end, the good life was the right life for her. Now that I have seen the darkness I know that it will win; the only way of bringing change is smashing the old system with a grin... so take that world now, Doctor Horri-" A dying shudder cut off the last syllaBLE.

An instrumental track, Death of Penny (an epic instrumental version of My Freeze Ray) plays, as Dr. Horrible slowly carries Penny's body across the room. Eventually he lays her on the stretcher. She lays there stationary for a few seconds. The medics holding the stretcher begin to walk her away, but Billy takes his last chance to touch her hand just as the instrumental piece ends. Immeadiately afterwards, Billy takes his spare Death Ray, holds it up against his head, and begins muttering.

He is suddenly interrupted by Moist. "Mr. Buddy? Boy have I got news for you."

"I'm not interested!"

"You're in! You're in the Evil League of Evil!" The word evil echoed. "And Bad Horse has revealed to us his Master Plan! He intends to create thousands of Bad Ponies-all flesh eating like the original! He'll sell them to unsuspecting little girls across the nation with a streak for evil, getting them to stores with the Transmatter Ray blueprints you sent him! Think about it-miniature Bad Horses DEVERYWHERE! (deverywhere, deverywhere, deverywhere). Why soon, it could be bigger than hula hoops! (hula hoops! hula hoops! hula hoops!) What do you say?"

Billy merely silently gaped. "You don't have to participate, you know! If you don't want in, I can take credit!"

"THAT WON'T BE NECESSARRY." A giant hoof crashed down on Moist's head.

"Bigger than hula hoops!"

"MUCH BIGGER."

"Every household in America! Thousands of you, eating, doing nothing to make our society any better! That's what you had in mind, all along, isn't it!"

"NO SHIT, SHERLOCK!"

"We're not even talking about just one sell-out villain, or a team. We're talking about world conquest!"

"AND I WANT TO THANK YOU!"

"You're a monster, and so am I! Only one of us gets out of here alive!"

"LET THE GAMES BEGIN!"

"You made me kill the only thing I ever loved!"

"TOO BAD!"

He fired his death ray several times, each time simply missing Bad Horse. "Take that! and that! and that and that and that and that and-"

"GIVE UP, BUDDY!"

"Never! Here, a direct hit! TAKE IT TAKE IT TAKE IT TAKE IT!" He shot directly into Bad Horse's face, bu the shots were merely absorbed harmlessly.

"FEH! GIVE UP, SMALL FRY!"

Billy leaped at Bad Horse. "Maybe you're touch on the outside. But in there, inside that belly of yours, I'll shoot you to death! Open up! OPEN UP! OPEN UP! OPEN UP!" Bad Horse's mouth slowly opened and Billy crawled inside with his Death Ray but to no avail. Bad Horse merely laughed, and laughed, and laughed. "START LOADING THE TRANSMATTER CHAMBERS, LEAGUE."

Captain Hammer's fans stared at the camera. A slow beat started in the background. Now their shirts had not Captain Hammer on them, nor Dr. Horrible, but Bad Horse. "Subsequent to the events you have just witnessed, similar events in cities across America, events which bore a striking resemblance, to the ones you have just seen, began occurring..."

Thousands of little girls in black shirts with pitiable "grim" witticisms on them crowded around, looking to be the first to own a flesh-eating pony.

"Subsequent to the events you have just witnessed, unsuspecting jerks from Maine to Califoria, made the aquaintence of a new breed of equine, and got sweet talked into feeding it blood... And thus the horses worked their terrible will, finding jerks who would feed them their fill, and the horses proceeded to grow, and grow, and began what they came here to do, which was essentially to..."

A 100-foot tall horse standing on its rear legs smashed down a building.

"EAT CLEAVELAND!"

"AND DES MOINES!"

"AND PEORIA!"

"AND NEW YORK..."

"AND THIS FANFIC!"

Along with several giant horses, many normal sized horses stampeded through the city, trampling and eating people and causing general chaos. Four of them had unusual spots on them... spots shaped like faces. Faces of Hammer, Moist, Penny, and Billy, specifically. They began to warn the people, from the sides of their horses.

"He may offer you fortune and fame!"

"Love and money and instant acclaim!"

"But whatever he offers you,"

"Don't help Bad Horse!"

"He may offer you lots of cheap thrills!"

"Robbing the bank at Beverly Hills!"

"But whatever he offers you,"

"Don't help Bad Horse!"

"Look out, he's coming here too!"

"Look out, here I come for-"

"Here I come for-"

"Here I come for-"

"Here I come for-

"HERE I COME FOR YOU!"

"Hold your hat and hang onto your soul! Something's coming to eat the world whole! If we fight him we might restore the course! But whatever he offers you, though he's slopping the trough for you, please whatever he offers you DON'T HELP BAD HORSE!

Penny and Billy's horses looked at one another. "We're on the rise now!"

"DON'T HELP BAD HORSE!"

THE END?


End file.
